They Miss Them Too: Caring for the Pets Left Behind

How pets show they're grieving

Animals bond with each other, just like we do, and each one copes in their own way. One pet might carry on as if nothing has changed, while another clearly mourns. You might notice your pet:

• Following you around, or wanting to be close to you more than usual
• Being jumpier or more sensitive to noise and movement
• Seeming low or withdrawn, eating less (or more), or calling out: whining or howling in dogs, crying or yowling in cats
• Grooming differently, or having toileting accidents (this is especially common in cats)
• Losing interest in games, walks or toys they used to love

These changes can come from grief, from the upset of a changed routine, or sometimes from a health problem. That's why it pays to watch closely.

When the household pecking order shifts

In homes with several pets, every animal has its own relationship with the others. When one is gone, that balance can be thrown off, and squabbles may start as the others work out where they now stand.

Keep an eye on how they're getting along. If the tension keeps going or gets worse, talk to your vet or an animal behaviourist. They can help everyone settle into a calmer new normal.

Keep an eye on their health

If your pet stops eating, or their energy changes a lot, call your vet sooner rather than later. If behaviour changes carry on, ask your vet to check them over to rule out any medical cause. Treating a physical problem can ease their distress and make it easier for them to adjust.

Easing stress and worry

A change in the household, and the loss of a companion, can leave pets feeling anxious, especially when they're left alone. Watch for restlessness, crying or barking, or refusing food while you're out. A pet camera can help you see how they're coping, and your vet can suggest ways to ease their anxiety.

Encourage the good, gently

Give your pets the time and space they need to adjust. Do not scold or punish them, as this only adds to their fear and anxiety. Instead, reward calm, settled behaviour and gently redirect them when they're struggling.

Here's something that surprises many owners: when a pet whines or paces, our instinct is to comfort them straight away. But doing that can teach them that the behaviour gets attention, so it carries on long after the grief has passed. As hard as it is, try not to react to the whining. Wait for a calm moment, then give them plenty of love and reassurance.

Your vet is on your side

Your vet knows your pet and can give advice that fits them. Don't hesitate to reach out if you're worried. That's what they're there for.

Is it time for a new friend?

If you're thinking of bringing another pet home, especially another dog, take it slowly. Your surviving pet may not take to a newcomer the way they did to their old companion.

One way to gauge your dog's readiness is to spend more time around other dogs: trips to the beach or park, or playdates with friends' dogs. Watch how they respond. If they keep interactions short or want to be left alone afterwards, they may not be ready to share their home just yet. Reading these signals helps make sure a new arrival, when the time comes, goes smoothly.

Helping your pets through loss takes patience, kindness and a watchful eye. By recognising their grief and giving them a calm, caring home, you help them heal, while you work through your own loss too.